Someone has done the disappearing act on me after I’d sent an email explaining my feelings. I needed a break because I had enough of people being constantly negative about anything. I’m living with someone who has an academic degree in this, without ever having to study for it, so I’m getting a daily overdose. I need positive support and feedback instead of a constant negative attitude.

It’s easy to complain about things all the time but it’s much harder trying to change whatever it is that is bothering you. It’s easy to show lack of interest in the other person’s life when your own isn’t going well for you so all you can talk about is your own issues. It’s easier to load someone else with negativism than to take responsibility and do something about it. It takes a good hard look at yourself…

In my next email I told the other person that I couldn’t deal with it anymore, that I needed to choose for ‘me’ and that I had to focus on my own problems instead of trying to deal with those of others. It’s kind of sad that the moment I set my boundaries after being there for others constantly that I’m treated like this. All I needed was to be heard, to be supported and to feel that my life was important too.

Why spend money on sending me flowers with a note telling me that you miss me, while all I really needed was a simple email asking me: how are you doing, are you ok? knowing that it wasn’t just about you for a change. Or a handwritten postcard… thát would’ve meant something to me, it would’ve shown personal effort to make it special. It really has always been about the little things in life to me…

Why spend that much money if I’m told that one can’t afford an internet connection for three months which was the only possible way of communication. Why cut that off while I could’ve shared something I don’t understand because to me the choice would be easy. I’d rather have that connection.

How hard can it be to ask questions and show some interest? How hard can it be to actually listen to someone for a change? So no… I don’t understand the disappearing act especially when I take into consideration how much time, effort, (financial!) help, support and energy I’ve devoted to this person. There are only two items that I’d like to get back, one is a photo print an original, I only had one copy.

But I guess that will end up in the bin and I will never see it again since my emails are totally ignored so I can’t communicate and talk about this like adults would… I wonder at times why I have to put up with this kind of behaviour of adults… yes fercrissakes: adults… Doesn’t sound like it, does it? So much for being grateful and showing respect, I hope he’s able to live with himself.