The Ghost

What I mentioned some time ago has happened, the ghost from the past tried to sneak into my life again… I was being watched thru this social networking website but it was a silent game of ‘Please notice my presence, I’m on the friends list of our mutual friend ‘Kay’… Aren’t you as curious about me as I am about you? Perhaps we could be friends again and forget my pathetic hurtful behaviour back then?

Nothing happened for months and of course I couldn’t be bothered to be dragged into another one of her games; I’m not fifteen anymore. I left messages for ‘Kay’ just like I did before the ghost showed up in her friends list. To my surprise (but then again not because I was expecting it in a way) I received an email through this professionals networking website which I used for business purposes only at the time.

It was surprising in a way because it meant she must have Googled me, there is no other way to find out about this profile of mine. She’d sent me a friend request and a short line telling me that she was wondering how I’m doing. I had no internet connection at the time when she sent me the request so she had been waiting for weeks already when I found it in my inbox the moment I was online again downloading my emails.

I kept her waiting for another two more weeks before I replied to her saying: ‘I’m good, thank you for asking’ and I left it at that. Of course I didn’t add her to my friends list, what was she thinking? I’m done with this, I have been ever since I sent her that email to wish her well. If she wants to satisfy her curiosity about me or get rid of her guilt she should try an apology first that’s one way to open communication lines again.

It’s such a lame way to use a friends request to wriggle yourself through the keyhole of a door that had been shut years ago. If she’d been genuine and sincere she would’ve known how to handle this the right way and write me a proper email instead. She has my business email address, it hasn’t changed for 8 years and since she’s visited my business website she could tell… When you bargain with a fox, beware of tricks.

Jekyll and Hyde

This is written during a brief hiatus from blogging, when I had no internet connection for three weeks

Nothing is ever good enough for you

No matter how hard one tries there will be complaints

Like you’re Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Sparse moments you’re considerate and sweet

More often you’re cold and extremely negative

About anything and anyone

I wonder how you became so utterly bitter

That you can’t even find humour in my jokes

That everything I say in a light way

Is taken as heavy as possible

Even my kind words are seen as criticism

And your answers are hurtful attacks

You say I’m welcome but in the same sentence

You criticise my friends and life, my existence

I try to keep track of the times

you said something nice about anything or anyone

But I can still count them on one hand

Negativism and relentlessness are your middle name

You’re a human being with flaws

I’ve tried to accept you the way you are

Because I’ve known for years things won’t change

But where the child has hope, the adult has given up

Three years at a distance did make a difference

I’m left with compassion and a vast set of boundaries

Dr. Jekyll has a friendly soft personality but

unfortunately Mr. Hyde mastered his own skills…