Surreal

I’m stuck between the past and the future. I’m in a surreal world, where sweetness becomes bitterness and things aren’t what they seem. Subtle cruelty to the mind. All I can do is sit and watch the show until the lights come on again so I can walk out. Left with an impression so deep, it aches my heart.
Darkness is there for tears to draw their invisible though warm track on my cold skin. I try to hold in my breath and make no sound. If only he knew. But my confused tears are mine. Running down my cheeks, tiny little rivers from the spring of my soul.
And I cry my muffled cry, while the emptiness in my head rocks me to sleep again. Slowly. Only for a moment, to escape from the things that are just shadows. Till I find myself awake again in the tight corner of this vicious circle. My freaky merry-go-round…

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Flash 8 Actionscripting

Things have been hectic last week when I started the Flash 8 Actionscripting course. It was quite an experience and I’ve met some really nice people. I thought I wouldn’t be able to follow but I realised I actually learned a lot when I explained some of the scripting to A.. During those three days I learned to build a game entirely in coding. On Friday, the last day of the course, the game contained only four movieclips, everything else was code.
It was a very interesting course and my brain was fried each day when I left Holborn to go home by Tube but it was definitely worth it! I’m just feeling slightly uncertain about whether I will use coding or not; I’m a visual person, therefore I chose to become a graphic designer, I have a trained eye for design subtleties and find myself nagging about letter spacing or kerning whenever I see something totally wrong design-wise.
I can easily point out five centimetre between my two index fingers, if I would ask you to measure it, it would be exact five centimetre [or any length]. This is caused by the fact that at graphic art school I have been drilled to draw exact 5mm by 5mm squares with exact diagonals within a 10 by 10 centimetre square. And if one would be slightly [read plus or minus 0.1 mm] wrong I had to start all over again. I had to draw characters [typography/display typography and typeface design] by hand in different sizes using different techniques, ink, paint and a Burmester Curve Drawing Aid Set aka a French Curve.
Coding is not a visual thing, it’s more or less a maths thing, typing lines while using certain methods to create actions/output. Actionscripting is object oriented programming, you could create a simple circle by coding it instead of drawing and I’m still not sure if I would rather draw or use coding to create the same object. According to Matt Weisfeld [The Object-Oriented Thought Process] learning Object Oriented concepts is not accomplished by learning a specific development method or a set of tools. Doing things in an Object Oriented manner is, simply put, a way of thinking…
I’m trained to be visual and not a programmer, although I now understand the concept it still doesn’t make me a programmer, I will probably end up being a mixture of both. It was a hectic course and I’m glad I did it, I have another certificate to mention on my CV. For now I will re-read the book and start practicing what I’ve learned but I’ve promised myself if I won’t be able to code that circle within a certain amount of time I will allow myself to simply use the drawing tool…
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