I’ve been spoiled over the last three days, spoiled with beautiful comments, surprises, emails, spoken words, gifts, pictures, flowers and views. They make me sigh… in a good way that is. I had a bit of a struggle for a week being left in the dark about the whereabouts of someone. But that week made me realise some valuable things and how sweet it was to find the surprise of an unexpected homecoming after all those days wondering how and where, moving thousands of kilometres in only a few days.

Last week the unknown caused a stomach ache and a constant restless feeling. I had to take it slow because of the RSI problem so there was no distraction which made things ‘worse’. This week I know it will be much easier to adjust. Extremes bring you either discomfort or utter bliss and my life seems to be going from one extreme to another on different levels and somehow totally out of control and then again not. There’s one thing I learned over the last ten years which is to let go of certain control. These days I’ll try to just let things happen and balance somewhere in the middle like a tightrope walker in my own circus.

Time has come to ‘let go’ again and prepare for another period of unknown but it feels different. Certain situations force you to look at things from a different angle, probably one you were reluctant to try but when you do, you realise it’s actually better since it’s forcing you to adopt a more direct approach. Making you aware of things taken for granted and showing to appreciate instead. I was told once, some words could grow old and lose their meaning over time when said too often. I don’t agree, it’s how they’re received/perceived by the other, whether he/she is willing to hear the true meaning and value this accordingly.

You either choose to see or you don’t… I learned not to wait for the right moment because there is no such thing as the right moment, here and now is all I’ve got. And so I feel I should say what I want to say, or do what I want to do without having second thoughts. Which is exactly what I did over the last three days and because of that I can ‘let go’ not having to think about the ‘ifs’, ‘could’ves’, ‘should’ves’ or ‘would’ves’. Intense? Yes! But at least I can say I genuinely chose to live that moment, besides, nothing comes easy being a Capricorn and deep thinker…

See?

And another…

Other:

– Monica, thank you for my award! It’s my first I will collect and write soon, how sweet of you!