I feel like I’m on some emotional rollercoaster lately. One moment I’m fine and the next I’m not. Reading other people’s blogs is a nice way to distract myself from the madness that is going on and to keep sane. I think I will have to book a flight back to Amsterdam soon and just go there without being in doubt all the time whether to go or not. Today was a good day, all was fine until my friend JdB. sent me an email telling me that she had just spoken to CH.
CH. is still in hospital suffering from a stroke. Yesterday my friend KvD. sent me an email telling me CH. would be going home over the weekend. They’ve found fluid in the cavities and if it would turn out to be a sinus infection she would get antibiotics and she would be released from hospital. I was very much in doubt about that, knowing she is not okay at all after I’ve spoken to her on the phone, no matter what these doctors say, I could tell and it was frustrating me.
So today I received an email from JdB. after she had spoken to CH. telling me that she needs more surgery done on the brain, there’s too much pressure *duh, she still had terrible headaches and the drain was still filling up with blood* caused by the brain sucking up blood like a sponge… I really wish this nightmare was over. That she will be a healthy woman again ready to get married in June…
I’m supposed to design her wedding announcement but I just can’t, it doesn’t feel right somehow. I’m stuck. AS. has been very supportive he can tell it’s causing a lot of stress, I warned him I might be snappy at times. So forgive me if I have a bad day and won’t be in the mood for posting. I’d rather read about other people’s lives and leave them a nice comment than being stuck in this whirlpool. So anyone out there reading this, feel free to leave your blog url so I’ll stay sane, it’s for a good cause…
Thanks! 
Monthly Archives: February 2007
Right or Wrong?
I’ve called CH. this afternoon, although she is off the machines and off the morphine, she didn’t sound right to me… She asked me to spell something and repeated it after me making spelling mistakes or even remarks that were so not related to the topic. I’m worried about her. There’s still a drain from the brain and she still has terrible headaches. She’s tired of having to stay at the hospital because it’s boring. I can imagine it is but hopefully she will realise that she needs to rest in order to heal.
She wants to leave asap because she feels good, and was up and walking about later tonight when she called me on TH. his cellphone, asking me for my email address because she wants to send me an email… I was surprised to hear that and called her back because the line was breaking up. Her attention span is about two sentences and then she looses track and changes the subject all of a sudden or makes a remark out of the blue that has nothing to do with what we were talking about. I’m afraid to tell her, so I kept my mouth shut being in doubt whether I should’ve told her or not. I reckon TH. would’ve noticed this too, he was there when she called me…
I noticed she sounds confused, like there’s something causing a short circuit and things don’t quite add up. She is very forgetful and doesn’t remember what she said a few seconds later. Although she sounds much better than last week, I am still worried… It was good to hear her voice again and it was good to make fun and laugh out loud together like we used to do but I can’t help hearing this tiny voice in my head causing me to worry and telling me something is not right.
I so hope I’m totally wrong…